I spoke to HP support and they told me to just disable the USB C firmware update option and it should work, after this I have used the card for all thunderbolt stuff at full speeds without any issue, and devices are seen in Thunderbolt control center, I never had to actually do the firmware update in the end, just ignoring it was enough to get it to work.
Oh and I also tweaked the thunderbolt settings in the BIOS can’t remember what settings they were
